Sex in Retirement

Some may feel that sex in retirement is an oxymoron. It may seem natural that sex declines with age since men lose testosterone while women lose estrogen. This natural occurrence often results in a loss of libido or sexual desire that may effect other areas of your life.

The larger problem here is not just loss of intercourse, but also the loss of the important feelings of intimacy, affection, and love.   Some women feel less inhibited since they can’t get pregnant at this stage. However, others must deal with symptoms of menopause that might interfere with their enjoyment in the bedroom.

If you are considering skipping sex in retirement, let me remind you of the benefits. Mood and self-esteem are elevated due production of endorphins. Your blood pressure, stress and sleep are all improved. It is highly correlated with your happiness and sense of well being in life. You burn calories and look younger. Studies show that sex causes collagen production. Groups of people asked to estimate age found that those who had regular sex looked seven years younger on average. Sex improves your health and makes you look younger!

Because this stage is characterized by a loss of interest in sex, both parties can surrender to this urge to forget sex, or both parties can show effort to keep it in their lives. The bottom line may be how important this level of closeness is to you personally. Most of us will feel that intimacy , love and sex cannot be discounted and is characteristic of a healthy relationship and an enjoyable life.

What to do: Rather than possibly lose your relationship or deciding to stay single the rest of your life, you can you do something about loss of desire? There are treatment options that you can discuss with your doctor. Estrogen hormone therapy may be appropriate for some, while Viagra for women is available. Viagra (and Calais) for women are intended to increase blood flow to the pubic area. Consumer reviews of Viagra from women are still forthcoming, so as a newer medication, time and success of usage will determine its popularity. Hormonal replacement patches that release testosterone have also benefited many women.

Whether you decide to try the above supplements or not, first be sure you are physically healthy. We all need to take care of our medical issues, meaning we don’t smoke, we exercise, and are generally healthy. The next focus for restoring interest in sex is arousal. Making love may be physical, but we all know arousal begins in the mind. This means we must first re-connect with arousal neural pathways in the brain.

To accomplish this, I suggest retro experiences to trigger prior arousal responses. For example, the goal is to have fun recreating that romantic evening with candlelight, soft music, vintage wine, gourmet food, a sexy outfit, and the man of your choice. The thoughts and visualizations that aroused you in the past should arouse you again. Self-awareness of all the little details that go into your experience is key to renewing that arousal.

In addition, an active fantasy life is considered healthy. I hope you are open to playfulness and experimentation in the bedroom as part of your continued pursuit of healthy social and physical involvements.     L. Johnson   More details in: www.creativeretirementforwomen.com

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